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The Warning Signs Before The Warning Signs
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I believe that before the actual onset of an eating disorder, there are warning signs that
something is not right. The thought process has altered. Disposition begins to change, not
drastically, but enough for others to notice that the person they love is changing. The signs
will be different for everyone, but in the
hope of making others aware of this, I want to share my own story to illustrate
that there can be actual warning signs prior to the development and onset of the eating disordered
behaviour. I felt lethargic and had headaches and a cough and no amount of medication seemed to eradicate these symptoms. My parents became very worried that I may have a serious medical condition that the local GP could not identify, and after yet another visit to the GP, he suggested that I be taken to see a specialist. The specialist who conducted a number of tests informed us in no uncertain terms, that he could find absolutely nothing medically wrong with me. I felt both confused and embarrassed - I felt ill and had missed a lot of school, only to be told that there was nothing wrong with me? My headaches continued, and I felt constantly weak. On some days I would ask my mother if I could stay at home because I didn't feel well enough to attend school. I was in sick bay at school often, sometimes my mother would be called to collect me and it was always a relief to get in the car with her and know that the rest of the day I would be at home, where I felt safe and secure. Other times, the Sister would let me lie down for a few hours and then she would insist that I return to class, which I hated to hear because I knew it meant that my mother wouldn't be called and I wouldn't be going home. My grades at school were good, and I always worked and studied hard regardless of feeling ill more often than was normal for a twelve year old. Being an over-achiever and a perfectionist, I took school very seriously, and placed a major importance on academic achievement. But the fact that I had constant headaches and a cough caused me to feel that something was not right. By the time I was in year 9 at school, I was still suffering from headaches from time to time but continued to work hard at school and push myself as much as possible. By the end of year 9, I was constantly hard on myself because I felt that nothing I did was good enough. No amount of recognition at my achievements from my parents could alter my ambition to exceed my best. This personality trait also lent itself to the development of my eating disorder. It takes an enormous amount of discipline and willpower to consistently apply yourself, as it does to starve yourself. Around this time, I began experimenting with diets and became fascinated by the nutritional value of food. At the beginning of year 10, when I was fourteen, I began to cut out certain foods, and announced that I was becoming vegetarian. I developed a keen interest in exercise over and above sports practice, and began to exercise in my bedroom at night and in the morning. Then, I decided to cut out food all together. This was the beginning of my starvation diet. From here, anorexia took over my life for the next three years. An eating disorder can develop over a long period of time before the sufferer actually
begins to display extreme behavioral characteristics, such as starvation, or bingeing and
then purging through vomiting or laxative abuse.
In my case, I believe that my headaches and anxiety stemmed from an
emotional need that was not identified, even by a
specialist. As my physical symptoms
were not indicative that there was anything seriously medically wrong with me, I was
dismissed as a hypochondriac. If the specialist had stopped to think that there must
be a reason for my constant display of ill health, it may have been identified that this
was actually driven by an emotional and psychological imbalance. However, as my emotional
need was not addressed, but left to fester, I believe this is why I went on to develop a
full-blown eating disorder.
Watch the ones you love closely - if you sense that they are having trouble coping with life
or struggling through from day to day, reach out to them and get to the heart of the matter.
You could be saving them from enduring the destructive path of anorexia or bulimia.
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