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Insights through Poetry
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Destined for danger Layers of hope peel away Leaving the pitfall of reality Death; the ultimate destruction Brought about by suffering Darkness and loneliness prevail Wanting only to be understood Life - what's in it? It matters not to the sufferer Or does it?? Cold hearted lies spun like a web Pain well hidden But overflowing with need Life - the essence of a dream Not a trustworthy soul to be found Diminishing hope as reality becomes clear cut Raging fire prevails inside Emotions ride high on the crest of life As all becomes lost in the sands of time…. I wrote these when I was deep in the throes of anorexia. Isn't it funny, how at first, you believe you are in control, until you get to the point where you are so frightened and want it all to stop, and then realise you can't stop it. This is what I call 'the monster'. It clutches onto your soul and won't let you go until it destroys your life. When I wrote these poems, I was desperate to get my life back, to beat my illness. But I was still caught in the trap and I was feeling powerless to break free. This is the poem I wrote when I was in recovery: Inspiration, the fight for success Freedom dominates Endless needs are fulfilled No longer destined for danger Destruction is a word of the past And the past remains the past What lies ahead can never be known But in the eyes of happiness Thefuture will never be feared For what lies in succession of time Is eternal warmth, love And most importantly, Happiness Happiness - always longed for in hours of despair But now achieved through the determination To make an emotional stand and fight Happiness - to know its meaning is to Experience all negative emotions And to extinguish the pain and heartache Of what may have been lost And know what has now been found What I myself have found Forevermore. Can you see the difference in my mindset? In the first two poems, I felt helpless, lost and alone. In my recovery poem, I had made the decision to stand up and fight, to not be afraid of the future anymore, but willing to embrace it no matter what may lie ahead. My whole thought process had changed. I was no longer controlled by 'the monster'. I grabbed hold of myself and my life and chose to control it, to fight for my freedom and my happiness - because I deserve it. And so do you. Stop hurting yourself and start loving yourself. You are worthy of love, you are special and you deserve every happiness this world has to offer. Email me your poems and I will post them on 'Your Poetry' page. They will all tell a different story, but they will all have a common theme - pain, anguish, frustration. Yet all who read them will know exactly what you were going through when you wrote it. And that, if nothing else, should comfort you. We all know without having to speak one word, the acute suffering that an eating disorder causes. Let's join together to fight that suffering, through unifying our experiences and thoughts and feelings, and understanding each other through reading this page. When you think the day is done
Look outside and see the sun When you feel the darkness come Remember all your battles won Most of all, search for the fun Because your life has just begun |