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 Dreams and Aspirations |
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Everyone has dreams and goals. A place deep within that brings you comfort in times of pain, where you can picture how you would like your life to be, the places you want to go, the person you wish to be. The things that you want out of life and what you yourself would like to achieve. It’s okay not to be sure what you want, or what you wish to do with your life. We all experience times of insecurity and uncertainty as to our futures, and our place in this world.
But I know that you have that secret treasure chest within, the place that you hold dear to your heart, that only you know. The place where you hold your inner most dreams and desires. Of which one is to find the person you lost somehow, the person you used to be before your eating disorder took control and spun you into a downward spiral of which you feel helpless to climb out.
In theory, it all sounds great, I know. But that strength that drove you to destruction in the first place, the strength that drove you to turn all your pain inward and destroy yourself, that strength is what will propell you in the direction of your dreams, and allow you to realise and achieve them. It is amazing, if you draw on that strength and channel it into something positive, what you can actually achieve. To have an eating disorder, means that you have the ability to master, to conquer, to do anything you want to do in life. Have you ever heard the saying ‘you can do anything if you put your mind to it’? Well, it is especially true for those of us who know what it is to be controlled by an eating disorder, how to use our strength to turn our lives into something destructive, how to hurt ourselves in the most significant way. But that drive, that strength, that will is what will bring you what you most desire. Your dreams. Your goals. I want to hear them. I want you to voice them, to write them down, to really think about what you want out of life. Because the truth is, we are here for a short time, and life is precious. We only get one chance to make our lives something special, something unique, something great. Email me your dreams and aspirations and I will post them on this page. And I assure you, they will be an inspiration to all who visit this site and read them. And to get you started, here is mine: I want to be happy in life, I want to feel that I am helping others, insipiring others to live their lives to the fullest, to beat their demons, to survive the treachourous, tumultous, miserable existence of anorexia or bulimia or compulsive eating. I want to feel good about myself, about who I am and where I am going. And most of all, I want to be loved for who I am, so that I know I can give these things to others who truly need them. My career ambition? I love my job, I am in marketing and I get to be really creative and inspirational to those I work with in terms of what I am able to deliver. But I love to write and I love to help others through my gift of writing. I want to do more, get out and about and talk to people who are suffering to try and give them comfort in any way I can. What are your dreams and aspirations? If you put them out there into the universe, they have every chance of becoming reality. So take the very first step to making your greatest desires reality and write them down and email them to me. To email me click here. Please put ‘Dreams and Aspirations’ into the subject and I will post them on this page. My Dream is to take all the will-power and inner strength I know I have, and focus it on my "Anorexic/Bulimic" disorder. I hate living like this, because it get's me nowhere except further down into that "trapped state of mind", the one that fight's to keep you starving yourself, and putting yourself down all the time, off and on (get's aggravating after a while don't it?). I'm sick and tired of fighting and I'm not going to let it keep taking over me like this anymore ( I like the person I once was too much to forget/destroy her, and basically I miss who I really am), I want to once again be able to think straight, to feel right, to feel good, to laugh without thinking (inside) that I shouldn't, that I'm not worth it, and I want to sit down and watch TV while eating dinner with my two beautiful, amazing children, and my lovely, wonderful family. And this ED has been trying to take all that away from me, and leaving me turned into another person, into someone I hate so much, it keep's me mad (with myself, and thing's) all the time. That little voice you hear, that one that tell's you," Your fat! Your ugly! Your nothing! No,don't eat that!, No don't laugh and have fun!, and your this, your that!" <<< THAT IS THE "ANOREXIC/BULIMIC" TALKING!!!" It's trying to keep us there in that lonely state of mind. But you know what? I'm now (and yes, honestly right now and right here, at this very minute. I don't want to become mental, I don't want to stay nothing, etc.), but right now I am telling that little voice not to only shut-up, but to get out of my mind, body, and life forever and for-good --- because that little voice inside is not me, and as I've always' said," Never will I let someone/something else take over my life, over me (myself)" (((This is my body, my life and I'm going to do with it what I want to, and I'm going to accept it for what it is - fat or not, but I'm no longer going to starve myself, I miss the food's I love too much =)!!!)))I'm sticking to the way's I thought about thing's before I came down with this ED. I want to be a healthy, good, fun, out-going Mother to my children (So hey! why not? It's what I want to do/be, so that's just what I'm going to do, plus my kid's are #1 in my life). And I want to be that loving, caring, joyful daughter I once was. And I miss being there for people and friends, I miss helping them with there problems, and giving them helpful advice from my heart ( I miss showing my heart, weather I was sad, mad, depressed, happy, cause at least I felt something more than nothing). I want it all back, and I'm the type of person to go after my want's and dream's, so that's just what I'm going to do, and you should to =) Remember this... "You know when you first go to meet someone, and your all nervous because you don't know whether or not if there going to like you/accept you, and then when you see that they do like you, you no longer have anything to be uptight about and so you get comfortable? Well think of this, when you accept and love yourself for who you are, you will feel more comfortable with yourself, just accept yourself ( it's okay for everyone to be different/look different , it is all a part of what makes up who you are, inside and out, and you are outside whom you are inside, so why turn yourself into a depressed, anti-social, non-happy, lonely person? Is it really worth it in the end? Is it really worth it to yourself and love one's? Is that whom you really want to be? I bet it wasn't the intention you had planned on when you first started starving/ downing yourself!!! PLEASE PLEASE PASTE THIS ON YOUR SITE =) >>> I really wanted to write this, because of my problem, and I just thought since I am no longer going to starve(hurt) myself any longer, that I would write this in hope's of that it would inspire other people with the same disorder that I have, and to show them that they to can stop without having to go seek help ( to me , I think the best help, the most helpful help, comes from within, come from the carriers heart and soul, the strongest force there is)... Thank you so very much, and the thing's I read on your site, has helped me strongly to go with the true feelings, wants, desires that I feel inside, and that's to get over this ED... You have such a/an amazing site, I love it a lot...It's very helpful and wonderful =), and again thank you, and please put this on your site, I have poured my inner feelings into this, and used all my inner strength.... xX Always Erica Xx >>> If anyone want's to E-mail me about anything, my E-mail is UR4SakenGoddesS@aol.com Hi MelindaMy dream is to be rid of this illness once and for all. I fight a battle in my head every day and just wish that one day I could wake up and my life would be normal and I would be happy. I only have one dream, one wish, and that is to get my life back. Anything else after that would be a bonus. Ange I want to be someone important, someone special, someone who people look up to and respect. I want to make a difference in the world. I'm sick and tired of being a nobody, of being branded an 'anorexic'. I want to be free to do something worthwhile with my life. Mandie <Hi Melinda Thank you so much for forcing me to think about what I want out of life. For years now I have suffered bulimia and convinced myself that this is what life is about - pain and suffering. To see all the positive stuff in your site really made me think hard about who I want to be and what I really want out of life. You have inspired me to make plans, set goals, something I have never even thought to do. I want to be a teacher so that I can give something back to the world. I would love to teach infant school, so I could have a positive influence on the lives of those who are young enough to be receptive to what others have to say. I want to be able to inpsire through teaching and let the children of the world know that they have the power to make their lives beautiful. I am trying to change my life and I know if I can do this, I will be able to give so much to the world. Katie I want to be free to be me. I want to be loved for being me. I want to know what it is to experience joy and happiness without hearing the voices in the back of my mind. Sarah I want to be strong and confident and healthy. I want to have a family and someone who loves me no matter what I look like. I want to be happy in my own skin and I want to see a beautiful person when I look into the mirror. Lex I wish I could be so thin I'd be unseen and that I could be in total "control", but the problem is you can't achieve any of your other dreams that way. I admit that sometimes I am really frustrated that I didn't die as expected by the Dr.s who put me in hospitals. But here I am, and that's how it is for now. I would like to not fear failure, to not think eating disorder related thoughts 24/7. I wish I had confidence and that I could enjoy anything. If that were the case, I might take up art classes, acting, or dance again. I wish that I felt people liked me or loved me, or that I even had friends. I am afraid my own therapist is disgusted by me. I would like to help people. I am in my first year of college and am taking a lot of science and psychology classes. I'd like to work in medicine or psychology, but I'd have to be better first. Right now I hardly want to be alive, so its difficult to see this ever happening. There is so much intertwined with the ED, and so many other frustrating diagnosis. Hi Melinda, I want to be free to do the things I have always wanted to do with out feeling controlled from my eating disorder. I want to be able to spend an entire day alone without running to the fridge or the bathroom. I want to be healthy inside and out and be able to share that with everyone I love especially with myself. I dream of the day when I will wake up and never have to worry about my ED taking control over my day instead I will have taken control. I don't want to cry about it anymore or feel scared and weak. I know I can be strong, I know I can do this and I hope this is the first step to a lifetime recovery. I want to be one of your success stories. Marisa Hi Melinda My dream is to let myself live a full life, and let myself enjoy the glorious gift that is food and nutrition without feelings of guilt and disgust at myself. Kate I just want to look forward to tomorrow, and the next day, and the same day next year - not dread it. I want to believe in myself - as I was made - so I can be what I once believed I could be - and I guess somewhere deep down I still know I can be. I want to be able to give and create and evolve as an adult, and feel as a human being ought to. I thankyou for your site - it turns me in the right direction ..... thankyou. CR <Hi Melinda Just leave all this alone and be happy with who we are for gods sake. I am still trying to deal with myself. Keep strong and heads up high. Amanda I have been through a lot of heartache over the years. I think I started goin down again when I had to have a hysterectomy. All I wanted was to hold this little baby in my arms that would love me unconditionally. My parents do love me, but I'm finding it is too hard to having to keep proving myself and seeking there approval all the time I want to take back my life and be happy again. Even though I won't have that little baby in my arms. So I was wondering I really would like to meet up with you. You are my inspiration. If you can recover from an eating disorder so can I. Louise I wish with my whole heart that I could be completely free of all this pain and suffering. I want to look in the mirror and smile with joy at the body God has given me. I dream of the day all my anxieties disappear and I am free to be the real me. I want to be loved for who I am and know I am loved and feel I deserve it. I wish to dedicate my life to helping others through their pain and suffering. "If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain." I want to be able to walk past a mirror without having to stop and see how i look. I want to get control back over my life. Most importantly once i am over this illness, i want to make a difference in someone's life. I need to be there for someone who needs a strong person. All of us know that when we are going through recovery, that just shows how strong we really are. Kristen Hi Melinda, I want to be free to do the things I have always wanted to do with out feeling controlled from my eating disorder. I want to be able to spend an entire day alone without running to the fridge or the bathroom. I want to be healthy inside and out and be able to share that with everyone I love especially with myself. I dream of the day when I will wake up and never have to worry about my ED taking control over my day instead I will have taken control. I don't want to cry about it anymore or feel scared and weak. I know I can be strong, I know I can do this and I hope this is the first step to a lifetime recovery. I want to be one of your success stories. Marisa <Hi Melinda My dream is to perform; to dance. I have been dancing for 11 years and want to follow in my older sisters footsteps so bad. I love to dance and peform. I also wish greatly to be rid of this eating disorder that has taken over my life. Dancing is almost my therapy to me and its my dream to perform and dance. Lisa |