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In my book Why Can't I Look the Way I Want,
there is a section dedicated to self harm.
Self harming is dangerous and can leave permanent scars. I have spoken to many people who have shared with me their
absolute desperation that led to cutting or burning themselves, and yet despite the momentary 'relief', their
emotional pain continued, often exacerbated by the resulting guilt. If you or someone you know is self harming, it's likely to be in the following ways: 1. Using knives, scissors or sharp objects to cut the skin 2. Burning the skin with cigarettes, lighters or heated objects such as an iron or stove top 3. Picking at or reopening a scab or wound. Sticking objects such as pins or toothpicks into healing wounds 4. Using fists to hit/bruise the body 5. Excessive nail biting resulting in injury to cuticles or fingernails 6. Excessive scratching of the skin with fingernails or other objects such as pencils or combs. When people engage in self harming behaviours they are trying to relieve overwhelming emotions. Secrecy and shame are part of self harming behaviour, as scars and injuries are kept secret by: a) Lying about what caused the wounds b) Inventing plausible stories to justify scars and injuries c) Wearing clothes or using jewellery to cover scars and injuries In order to change behaviour, it is important to become acquainted with strategies that will help alleviate the need to self harm. Initially, distraction through creating a similar physical sensation can help to dissipate overwhelming feelings and emotions: * Snap an elastic band against your wrist * Squeeze ice cubes in your hands * Thrust your arm into a bucket of cold water * Thrash a pillow against a wall * Throw ice against a brick wall hard enough to shatter it * Break sticks * Plunge your fingers into some ice-cream. These strategies work because they produce an intense sensation that matches the intense emotions that trigger self harming. These intense emotions are fleeting so creating a similar physical sensation will allow the feelings to pass - without leaving scars. Coming to terms with the underlying causes of self harm is an important part of understanding what motivates this behaviour as part of the overall picture. Whatever is driving the eating disorder, may also be driving associated feelings and behaviours; depression, anxiety, the urge to binge, purge or cut. Being honest about thoughts, feelings and behaviours with a therapist, and establishing motivation, is the first step to working through them, and an important part of the recovery process. If you have questions or need support please send me an email by clicking Here |